Postpartum rage is a common yet often misunderstood experience affecting many new mothers, characterized by intense anger and irritability. Although not a formal diagnosis, it can be linked to perinatal mood disorders like postpartum depression and anxiety. Managing symptoms involves recognizing triggers, seeking support from loved ones, and prioritizing self-care, such as therapy or taking short breaks. It’s important to understand that postpartum rage is a normal and temporary phase, and with the right help and strategies, women can navigate this challenging time.

Where It All Begins

After the end of 9 long months, it’s the moment you’ve waited for. Despite being a physical part of you, the tiny baby you’ve just brought into the world is still a complete stranger. You study the bridge of their nose, the shape of their lips and gaze into their beautiful new eyes. You’re enamored. 

Flash forward to a few weeks from now and life couldn’t feel any further from those first few beautiful days. You’ve lost count of the times you’ve screamed into your pillow, your husband can’t seem to do anything right, and every inconvenience sends you on a warpath. The rose-colored glasses you began with have turned bright red and you often find yourself snapping at those around you. If this sounds like you, you may be a part of the 20% of women who experience postpartum rage.

What is Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage refers to the intense anger and irritability that can occur in the postpartum period. Although not a formal diagnosis listed in the DMS-5, postpartum rage is often associated with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders like postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. 

For women experiencing postpartum rage, these symptoms can be quite frightening and feel out of character. While feeling “angry” is a normal human emotion, the anger that’s associated with postpartum rage is much more extreme and can often be triggered by something small and insignificant. Some women may report feeling “out of control,” having an “out-of-body experience” and experience what they call “anger attacks”.²

Symptoms of Postpartum Rage

For women that experience postpartum rage, they may experience one or more of the following symptoms:

• Extreme irritability
• Intense anger
• Outbursts towards loved ones
• Feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness
• Negative feelings towards baby
• Crying spells
• Anxiety and excessive worry
• Losing interest in daily activities
• Difficulty Sleeping

Although many of these symptoms mirror those found in postpartum depression, research suggests that postpartum anger can coexist with postpartum depression.³ Having postpartum rage doesn’t mean that you’re also depressed and having postpartum depression doesn’t mean you’ll experience postpartum rage. 

Most experts and researchers agree the postpartum rage is still a widely misunderstood phenomenon. In order to better support and understand women that experience these symptoms, more research needs to be done. 

Who’s Affected by Postpartum Rage?

Postpartum rage may affect up to 1 in 8 postpartum women. Although there is no known cause for postpartum rage, being newly postpartum is host to a list of contributing factors:

• Hormones & Body Changes – During pregnancy our levels of progesterone and estrogen skyrocket. Once we give birth, our progesterone and estrogen levels begin to plummet. These rapidly changing hormones can often lead to mood swings during the postpartum period. 

• Emotional Whiplash – The emotions following the birth of your child can feel earth-shattering. From grieving our old lives, adjusting to our postpartum body, doubting our capacity to parent, and the impact of these new responsibilities on our marriage/partnership.

• Sleep Deprivation – All of the coffee in the world still never feels like enough while navigating sleep deprivation. Research suggests that maternal and infant sleep challenges significantly contribute to women’s anger after childbirth.¹

• Weight of Expectations – Whether they’re self-imposed, societal or from a meddling family member, there are so many unrealistic expectations we face in postpartum. Some postpartum women also noted that their expectations included being able to meet their baby’s physical and emotional needs, to be competent as parents, and to receive support from others.¹

• Transition to Parenthood – While some challenges lay in navigating the added responsibility of a new child, a recent study highlighted the way in which women faced difficulty in the lack of support they received from society in things like lack of parental leave and accessing affordable childcare services. The participants in the study noted specifically that the inadequate and inappropriate structural and social supports contributed to their anger and distress.¹

Tips for Managing Postpartum Rage

As “out of control” as you may feel, there are a few tools that may be helpful in managing symptoms of postpartum rage.

• Know your triggers – Postpartum rage can stem from seemingly insignificant things so knowing your triggers may be difficult. However, having an awareness of what may exacerbate your symptoms of postpartum rage can be a great first line of defense. Communicate some of your findings with your partner and discuss how they can continue to support you. 

• Consult your support network – Whether it’s your spouse, a family member, an online group, a faith-based community or a close and trusted friend, having someone to discuss your experience with can be healing within itself. Utilizing a safe space free of judgement offers us the ability to feel seen and heard. 

• Go to therapy – If you feel that your symptoms are becoming unmanageable, it may be time to seek out support from a professional. Therapy is a great place to share your experience and gain helpful strategies and tools. You can even seek out support from a therapist who specializes in working with postpartum moms via this online directory from Postpartum Support International: Find a perinatal therapist in your area.

• Tap out – Time outs aren’t just for kids. If you’re beginning to experience the feeling of impending doom and know you’re seconds away from exploding – take a few minutes to yourself. Get the baby into a safe place (bouncy seat/swing) or leave them with a trusted family member while you disappear for a few minutes. Take some time to practice deep breaths, bring yourself to the present moment with a few sniffs from your favorite essential oils or listen to a song that brings you peace. 

• Take a “needs” inventory – Oftentimes postpartum rage can be triggered by having unmet needs, things like having adequate sleep (or any for that matter), feeling alone, unsupported or not having time for ourselves. Write down a list of your needs and explore whether you feel like they’re being met. Share your findings with your spouse or a family member and brainstorm some ways they can support you in prioritizing some of your needs. 

Conclusion

If you’re currently experiencing symptoms related to postpartum rage, you’re not alone. Often when women experience these symptoms, it can lead to intense feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. Postpartum rage doesn’t make you a “bad” mom, it doesn’t mean you love your baby less and it doesn’t mean you’re incapable of being their mother. With the right support and self-care practices, it’s possible to heal, regain emotional balance, and still find joy in the beautiful moments of motherhood.

Resources

Postpartum Support International 24/7 Call/Text Helpline: 1-800-944-4773

Podcast Episodes:

Brave Table with Dr. Neeta Bhushan Episode #213: The Truth Behind Postpartum Rage and Depression

Motherhood Meets Medicine Episode #31 – Postpartum Rage and How To Manage it With Dr. Ashurina Ream

Holding Space Episode #49: Postpartum Rage with Karrie Locher, RN

References

1. Ou, Christine H. K., Wendy A. Hall, Paddy Rodney, and Robyn Stremler. 2022. “Seeing Red: A Grounded Theory Study of Women’s Anger after Childbirth.” Qualitative Health Research 32 (12): 1780–94. https://doi.org/10.1177/10497323221120173.
2. Born, Leslie, Gideon Koren, Elizabeth Lin, and Meir Steiner. 2008. “A New, Female-Specific Irritability Rating Scale.” Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience : JPN 33 (4): 344. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2440789/.
3. 3. Ou, Christine H., and Wendy A. Hall. 2018. “Anger in the Context of Postnatal Depression: An Integrative Review.” Birth 45 (4): 336–46. https://doi.org/10.1111/birt.12356.